In this article I'm going to reveal the top 3 mistakes you may be making when you first start dating a man that completely TURN HIM OFF and make him scramble for an excuse to leave.
And then I'm going to tell you exactly qualities in a woman drive a man totally wild and make him look at you as "girlfriend" or even "marriage" material - from Date #1.
But first. Do you wonder why you can't seem to get past a first or second date with a man before he starts to pull away, stop calling, or reveal some "excuse" as to why he can't continue seeing you? Why does this happen? And more importantly, what can you do about it so you don't end up either completely GIVING UP on dating, or worse, continue feeling depressed and disappointed every time a man says, "You're great, but I'm just not ready."What do you tell yourself when yet ANOTHER guy starts to pull away or withdraw from you? Do you ask yourself, "Am I picking the wrong men or ones who are unavailable?""Are men just interested in shallow relationships with shallow women?""Am I doing or saying something that's scaring these guys off?""Eeek - is it possible I'm unattractive in someway or doing something completely dorky?"
None of these possibilities make you feel very good, do they? But you keep wondering at the back of your mind. Is it you, or is it him? What's going on? You've got a great career and you've accomplished a lot in your life. You know you have a LOT going for you.
Shouldn't a man should feel LUCKY to have met you, and want a woman like you in his life? He should, absolutely! But for some reason, no matter who you meet or go on a date with, the man acts like he's lost interest past the first few dates or weeks. It happens with the guy you thought was totally attractive and "together" and sexy. It happens with the guy who wasn't all that interesting but seemed so into you on the first date. It doesn't seem to matter who the guy is or what the situation was, because it all ends the same way. Somehow your dating life is STUCK in first gear. ARGH.
Tell me if this is the pattern you're noticing in your love life, because it's certainly a pattern I hear about a LOT from women: You meet a man on the internet or at a party somewhere and he seems like a great prospect. So you agree to meet for coffee somewhere. You try to feel optimistic that this time, you and he will connect and it will be the start of something great. At first it seems to be going well. The conversation is flowing and you laugh together and you feel witty and attractive around him. You are POSITIVE that this time, this guy is going to call you right away and ask you out again. But days go by and there's no call, no email, no text.
Just when you were about to forget about him, he finally does call, but he sounds less than enthusiastic about asking you out again. Maybe he's having a bad day, you think. Maybe I'm just imagining things, you hope.
On your second date things feel a little "off" -there are less laughs, he seems anxious to end the date, and things just don't feel as exciting or connected like they did the first time you got together. A few days later, you get a message from him and he tells you he has to "focus" on work right now and isn't ready to get too involved, or that even though he thinks you're a great woman, he's not "feeling a lot of chemistry" with you.
You don't get it. Why did he ask you out if he was so busy? And the chemistry felt off the chart on the first date, so what went wrong between date #1 and #2?
You feel a little humiliated, and really hopeless. But hang on.
According to Amy Anderson, a professional and successful matchmaker who has brought many, many couples together for committed relationships, there are actually quite a few things that could be going wrong for you if you keep experiencing this over and over. ESPECIALLY if you're a woman who is looking fora committed relationship and ESPECIALLY if you're an independent, successful woman with a lot to offer in a relationship.
DATING MISTAKE #1: Giving too much information.
This typically happens when you go on a date with a guy who is really good-looking and charismatic. You feel a little nervous. So, you start talking - really fast. He bounces off your story and soon you feel like you've really got a great connection going. He totally understands where you're coming from! Next thing you know, you've got TMI going on: Too much information. You're telling him about how much you HATE your ex and how much of a jerk he is, or how you had a drinking problem two years ago, or how you just sued your neighbor. Eeek! Sharing too much information about your past or yourself because you feel some sort of connection and it gives you a false sense of security about telling him things you would normally never tell someone you just met. Be careful about what you talk about. Remain true to yourself.. just be more restrained. A guy will think you have bad judgment if you complain about all the bad dates or relationships you've had, for example. There will be time later to reveal all the mistakes and secrets from your past.
For the first few dates, however, you'd really serve yourself better to present yourself in the best possible light.
DATING MISTAKE #2: Boasting too much. Do you feel like you need to "prove yourself" with the men you date? Do you need to show how interesting, smart, dedicated, and independent you are by sharing stories that prove that? It's understandable that you might want to do this. First and second dates can feel nerve-wracking for BOTH people. But just because it feels that way doesn't mean it IS. So you tell him how you doubled your company's profits and now you're about to get a huge promotion.
Or you tell him how you just finished your master's degree and you've already gotten published in a professional journal. Ummm..ok. That's great. If you're applying for a JOB.
This sort of heavy boasting feels competitive to a man and TURNS HIM OFF, especially if it's totally out of context with the rest of the conversation. It's not what a man wants from a woman – someone to compete with or compare his accomplishments to. A man isn't turned on by a woman who lists all the ways in which she "got the job done" or what OTHER people think of her various accomplishments. On the first date he couldn't care less, actually.
So what ARE men looking for? Men are looking for someone who is nurturing, feminine and sensual. Just because a woman is smart, professional and capable doesn't mean that a man is going to feel attracted to you emotionally or want to have a relationship with you. And no, I'm not telling you that you can't show your intelligence. Of COURSE you can, and you should, because there's no bigger turn on for a man than a woman who is as smart as she is feminine and sensual. Warmth, femininity and intelligence is like MAN CANDY.
It's about your attitude and the way you carry yourself. Once you learn what it takes to keep a man attracted, you'll no longer have to worry that he's getting distant or withdrawing because of anything YOU did to turn him off. It all right here: Read More ->>>
And finally, the third biggest dating doozie: DATING MISTAKE #3 Overcompensating.
Let's say you've managed to get past date #1 and#2 with a guy. You've been talking on the phone, emailing and texting each other non-stop since you met. He's EVERYTHING you've wanted in a man. And you feel an incredible connection with him. You think about him constantly and want to show him how special you think he is. Maybe on the second date you did something really special, like cooked him a huge, gourmet dinner at your house that took you HOURS to prepare. Now you're offering to pick up his dry cleaning. You bought him a cute card at the bookstore. You start recommending things for him to do that you think will make his life "better."
Suddenly, he starts to pull away. Withdraw. Give excuses. Call or text less. What happened? You were doing everything to show him how attracted you were to him. You were being sweet and giving. That's right. You overcompensated. Ultimately this turns a man off because you seem not to have your own needs or desires. A man wants to find a way to please you, not figure out ways to let you know how you can please HIM. The clich that "men love the chase" is true in this sense. He wants the "chase" - as in, he wants to feel like he's whittling away at the mystery of what it's going to take to win you over. If YOU do all the chasing by being too nice, too forthcoming, too open and available, it will give the man a "bleh" feeling about you. Instead, create a sense of MYSTERY about yourself. Let him figure out what you like by letting him pursue YOU.
One of the ways that a lot of women think they can attract a man or get him interested in a relationship is by being a little "too nice." A man won't fall for you because of the many things you can DO for him or because you're a kind and giving person. A man will fall for you because of the way you make him FEEL, and because of that certain intangible "something" that compels him to want to be around you and to make you his forever. If you've ever tried to get a guy to like you because you were "there" for him, or were his "best friend", then I wonder - how did that workout for you in the long run? Chances are, it didn't.
A man won't feel drawn to you because you do him favors or treat him like a pal. He'll feel drawn to you for reasons that may seem completely COUNTER-INTUITIVE to you. Find out what the common "misperceptions" are about attraction and how to trigger something deep in his mind that will keep him hooked for good. It's all right here: Read More ->>>
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