How Do You Forgive Your Boyfriend After He Cheated On You

Many people think that you have to wait until your feelings are better in order to forgive. But the truth is that you have to make the choice to forgive and then the good feelings will come. How do you forgive someone? Is there a process you can use? There’s no one right or wrong way, but there are some general tips you can follow.

First, be specific about what it is you need to forgive. It needs to be a specific behavior, not just someone being mean.

Ask yourself how you’re feeling. Are you angry? Frustrated? Disappointed? Pinpoint your exact feelings.

It may help to write down your feelings or talk with a close friend or family member about them.
Make the decision to let go of your anger. While someone else may have hurt you, how you react to it is your own responsibility.

Talk to your partner about the problem. It helps to be heard. But when you talk to them give them specific behaviors and own your own feelings. For example, “When you cheated on me I felt very hurt.” No one can argue with your own feelings.

Try to listen to your partner and understand where they are coming from. There’s usually a reason behind the behavior. Even if you don’t agree with it, hear it.

Let your partner know that you forgive them. If you’ve done anything wrong to contribute to the problem, ask for forgiveness.

Accept the fact that your partner may not be as ready to forgive as you are. Give them time.

In order for you to forgive, the guilty party doesn’t necessarily need to seek your forgiveness. You may not even have to talk to your partner about the problem in order to forgive and move on. You may just need to identify your own feelings and learn to let them go. Sometimes that’s all it takes.

You’ve probably heard the old adage that you should “forgive and forget.” In most cases that is really true. Forgetting, though, is much harder than forgiving. You may need to change the way you look at the idea of forgetting.

We have a memory for a reason. It keeps us from making the same mistakes over and over again. We remember the burn of the hot oven or the sting of hurting someone else’s feelings.
For this reason it’s critical that we don’t completely forget about our own mistakes. That can also be true for the mistakes of others. For example, if someone treats you very badly you need to forgive him or her.

But it’s not always a good idea to completely forget. If they keep doing it over and over again the pattern can help you make the decision to move on in your life.

However, you can’t keep rehashing old arguments all the time. You need to learn to handle each negative incident in isolation – not bring up all your partner’s mistakes from the past. Once you forgive someone, forgive them and let it go. But if they keep doing the same things to you over and over again, don’t overlook the big picture.